Patience....what is that?

I know that back before I was ever medicated (pre-2005) I had little to no patience when dealing with most of the people around me.  Since getting pregnant and being taken off ALL my medications I am starting to notice that my patience is as low if not lower than it was back in those days.  Now I have heard that as you get older you get less tolerant of stupidity, but I don't think that is entirely my problem.  I think that my problem is a combination of being un-medicated and pregnant.  Let me share a couple recent examples of my lack of patience or understanding.

Example #1:  HUSBAND'S WORK HOURS
I am to the point of wanting to just go to my husband's shop and yell at someone higher than he is.  in the last 2 weeks my husband has worked approximately 150 hours.  Yes, 150 hours in only 12 days.  While I have a deep seated respect for the men and women of the USAF, I am thinking what moronic idiot thinks that my husband isn't needed at home.  I am currently 21 weeks pregnant so during that 2 week period I was in weeks 19 and 20 so not exactly un-pregnant.  Anyone who knows anything about me would know right off looking at me that I am pregnant.  I am to the point that I can only see my toes when looking down at my feet from a standing position (without bending forward at all).  I am not allowed to wear my back brace to help me lift things around the house because it would compress on my baby too much.  My husband and my mother have pretty much banned me from lifting anything heavier than a ream of paper.  When my husband works so many hours how is anything supposed to get done around the house?  According to my husband and my mother I can't lift the dog food bag...so if I run out of food in the container in the house, how do I feed my dog?  Laundry baskets can be much heavier than a ream of paper so how am I supposed to do laundry?  I feel like the military is forgetting that without the military family there would be a definite decrease in military members because a lot of the current military is a product of a military family. 

Example #2:  CUSTOMER SERVICE
When the cable/internet service went out today, I did what I usually do.   I called Windjammer Cable to see what was going on.  First problem with this...the 45 minutes on hold waiting to talk to a representative.  That wait alone got me more and more angry with the company, as if I wasn't mad enough to start with.  This was the 2nd outtage in the month of April and the 5th outtage this year alone (minimum of 1 a month since start of 2012).  I DO NOT feel that I should have to call the cable/internet company EVERY month to straighten out my internet/cable issues.  The next problem I had with them was after I FINALLY got a real person she was such an idiot that she couldn't even understand my last name after I spelled it for her twice.  What is so hard about W-E-S-T-C-O-T-T?  Then when my husband took my cell phone from me she asked him to spell it yet again....can we say MORON????  Then I guess she asked my husband for the phone number on the account and he rattled off his phone number, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE but 3 times before she got it right...really starting to wonder where they get the people who answer service calls.  She actually got the address right I guess didn't hear him repeat it to her after he said it the first time.  Then she had the audacity to ask him for his SSN.  There have been several times that I have called and they were able to help out without us giving them a SSN number.  I always thought that giving out your SSN was an open invitation for identity theft.  Then I heard my husband ask for her supervisor and he was put on hold for over 1/2 an hour.  HOLY MOLY!!!!  I am ready to spit nails at the cable company Monday morning when the office opens up. 

A year ago neither of these situations would have caused me to get as upset as I did.  I mean I actually yelled at the lady on the phone from the cable office and called her a B****.  I also told her to do her D*** job.  I felt bad afterwards for doing it but felt justified at the time.  How do I regain or obtain some patience?  I don't wanna yell at people like that.

LORD PLEASE GRANT ME PATIENCE..........NOW!!!!!!!!!

20 Week Ultrasound

Well the day finally arrived.  Today we find out whether or not the Minion is a BOY or a GIRL.  For someone who wasn't sure she wanted to know the gender before giving birth, I sure woke up an extra hour early today.  Spent all morning constantly checking the time to see if it was time to leave for the Base Hospital yet.  Yes we did decide to find out the gender.  And after what seemed forever.  The tech at Radiology got us into the ultrasound room and started gathering the data on my uterus and the baby.  Lots of ultrasound pictures later, he had me clean up the goop/gel stuff while he went and talked to the Radiologist.  We still didn't at this point know BOY or GIRL.  It seemed like it was taking FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!  He finally came back into the room and re-gooped/gelled my belly and started showing us the different parts of the baby, the spine, head, heart, arm, hand, butt, leg, foot....Then the baby didn't want to cooperate.  Trust my child to be difficult.  We finally got a decent look at her and he told us that he was fairly certain we are having a GIRL!!!!!  Guess it will be a blue, pink and lavendar room instead of a just a blue room like it is now.

20 weeks pregnant

Well I have made it.  I am half way through my pregnancy.  Almost to the point where I feel I can quit holding my breath and thinking this is all just a dream.  So many things are different this time around than they were back in 2005 with my first pregnancy. 

I was much sicker in the first trimester this time around.  Last time I had maybe an hour a day I felt miserable whereas this time around I was miserable for basically 3 months straight.  Most people (me included at first) would feel that this was a horrible thing to be unable to keep anything down but water, 7-Up, and Ginger Ale.    But for me it kept the fact that I was pregnant real in my mind.  What other reason is there to feel miserable all day but the joy of knowing that you are growing a life inside of you.  That God has bless you with the chance to be a mommy to your own miniature you (or miniature hubby).

In the 2nd trimester so far, I have been feeling more movement from baby than I did first time around.  I started feeling flutters around week 15 1/2 or so.  Today those movements are a bit more than flutters but not as much as the jabs and kicks my friends further along tell me about.  I know those movements are coming but I am enjoying the little motions that my baby is doing now, it is comforting to know that God protected my little one while I was so sick at the beginning. 

Another HUGE difference about this pregnancy is that I have the love and support of my, Husband Mike.  Unlike in 2005 (before I even met Mike), when I was living in Montana and working 50-60 hours a week trying to just to support myself.  I was alone except for friends and the occasional phone call back home to mom.  This pregnancy is just that much more healthy for both me and baby I believe.  It is amazing what knowing someone cares about you does for your outlook on EVERYTHING. 

While I know that back in 2005 I would have loved my little girl with all my heart.  I know that I wasn't ready to be a mother then.  I was way too self-absorbed at that time and financially it would have definitely dropped us from being broke into the poor bracket.  In my opinion not the best way to bring a child into this world.  While I am not entirely sure I am ready to be a mother now, financially things are much stabler, and I know that this child will not only have 2 parents that love him/her very much, but also 3 grandparents, numerous aunts, uncles and cousins; and a TON of family friends who love him/her lots n lots.

Thank you God for protecting all of us and providing for us.  Please continue to do so all the days of our lives.

Do I call this week a blessing?

This week is full of lots of things for me.  For starters today (9 April) is my 28 month wedding anniversary.  My mother also needed me to stay with her for a couple of days due to having major dental work done, which has forced me to actually figure out how to do things that are at knee level and lower.  It is also the first time Mike has had to work a complete overnight shift since we got married.  So life has gotten interesting really fast. 

I sincerely wonder if I can consider this week a blessing.  I believe I can.  It is a blessing because Mike and I have been married 2 years and 4 months.  It is a blessing because I am able to spend it with mom even tho she is hurting and not entirely herself.  It is a blessing because it is another week that I am pregnant with our little Minion.  It is a blessing because Mike has a job that enables us to live comfortably, not lavishly, but comfortably.  Blessings are all in how we look at the world around us.  It might seem like life is trying to kick us down but change your perspective a little bit and you can see the good in it.  I thank the LORD for my husband, my mother, my unborn child and for my husband's job.