Monday, March 26, 2012

Emotions? Where did these come from?

One would think that at the age of 33 I would know how to deal with emotions.  However, I have been nicely medicated for the last several years where my emotions stayed on a nice even keel, so these massive emotional mood swings are new to me. After 17 weeks of pregnancy I still don't have a clue how to deal with this new teary eyed me.  I cry with my favorite TV shows. I cry with cartoons on Boomerang and Cartoon Network.  I cry with baseball (not unusual other than this is only Spring Training).  I cry when playing games on my computer, when I am cooking, when I am trying to fall asleep at night.  I pain feel like all I do is cry and I don't know what the heck I am crying about.  I want my emotional evenness back.  I want to deal with things in my normal way not in this crying way.  I know that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle but I sure wish He'd give me a clue as to how to handle this. 

Mike looks at me, on the occasions I do cry around him, with a complete look of being lost on his face.  I feel so bad that I can't really explain to him why I am crying or how to help me deal with it.  The last thing I want to do is frustrate him, especially on his days off when he needs to be relaxing.  I guess the best thing for me to be doing during all this emotional upheaval is to be praying and asking God to help me.  To guide me and give me the knowledge to deal with this new found emotion.

On a happy note (tho I did cry after taking the picture, go figure)  Here is my 17 week along picture.

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