Perspective

There are times that this little gal, who was born in a big city but raised in the country, gets slammed with the reality of the big bad world out there.  Having been raised in small town Idaho near an airbase I realize that there are things such as war, death, and troubles in the world but not really had it hit as close to home as it did last night for me.  I was reading the news online like I do most nights and came across a story on KTVB's website about the Gunfighters (MHAFB).  Like most air bases we have our share of men and women deployed overseas at any given time.  Right now the large group gone happens to be the one connected to my husband's squadron, by this I mean not only his squadron but the planes they work on and the other squadrons that also work on those same planes have people over there.  When I read in that article that a plane had went down and we had lost a pilot the thoughts and emotions that went through me were some of the strongest I had ever felt when reading about military deaths overseas.  I actually fell asleep last night bawling my eyes out crying not only for the loss of this life but for the family and friends that were left behind.  For the first time in my life I believe it actually has fallen into the right perspective for me.  As a civilian, military deaths were just something that happened they didn't directly affect me, now however as a military spouse, it means so much more.  I am probably overly sensitive to it because I am pregnant, but I am actually afraid now for the men and women overseas.  I know I shouldn't let this stress me out because of the baby but how do you not let it stress you when you know they are over there for a set amount of time.  I need to bring my perspective back on to staying unstressed for baby but fears are there now.