20 weeks pregnant

Well I have made it.  I am half way through my pregnancy.  Almost to the point where I feel I can quit holding my breath and thinking this is all just a dream.  So many things are different this time around than they were back in 2005 with my first pregnancy. 

I was much sicker in the first trimester this time around.  Last time I had maybe an hour a day I felt miserable whereas this time around I was miserable for basically 3 months straight.  Most people (me included at first) would feel that this was a horrible thing to be unable to keep anything down but water, 7-Up, and Ginger Ale.    But for me it kept the fact that I was pregnant real in my mind.  What other reason is there to feel miserable all day but the joy of knowing that you are growing a life inside of you.  That God has bless you with the chance to be a mommy to your own miniature you (or miniature hubby).

In the 2nd trimester so far, I have been feeling more movement from baby than I did first time around.  I started feeling flutters around week 15 1/2 or so.  Today those movements are a bit more than flutters but not as much as the jabs and kicks my friends further along tell me about.  I know those movements are coming but I am enjoying the little motions that my baby is doing now, it is comforting to know that God protected my little one while I was so sick at the beginning. 

Another HUGE difference about this pregnancy is that I have the love and support of my, Husband Mike.  Unlike in 2005 (before I even met Mike), when I was living in Montana and working 50-60 hours a week trying to just to support myself.  I was alone except for friends and the occasional phone call back home to mom.  This pregnancy is just that much more healthy for both me and baby I believe.  It is amazing what knowing someone cares about you does for your outlook on EVERYTHING. 

While I know that back in 2005 I would have loved my little girl with all my heart.  I know that I wasn't ready to be a mother then.  I was way too self-absorbed at that time and financially it would have definitely dropped us from being broke into the poor bracket.  In my opinion not the best way to bring a child into this world.  While I am not entirely sure I am ready to be a mother now, financially things are much stabler, and I know that this child will not only have 2 parents that love him/her very much, but also 3 grandparents, numerous aunts, uncles and cousins; and a TON of family friends who love him/her lots n lots.

Thank you God for protecting all of us and providing for us.  Please continue to do so all the days of our lives.